Couples Therapy

You’re not sure how things got to this point.

You started so well together, or so you thought at the time.

But problems developed…

She doesn’t seem interested in sex anymore.

He seems to think sex will magically fix everything.

One of you is exhausted and wants to relax at home – the other longs to be out with people.

It’s one thing to have different wants, but it’s turned into a tug-of-war with both of you terrified of being pulled into the mud.

The harder you tried to solve the problems, the worse they got.

You’ve read the books, watched the video clips, and listened to the podcasts. You’ve come across some good ideas, but they were better in theory than in practice.

Sometimes, they made the hole even deeper.

You applied what you read, but it just increased your frustration when it didn’t provide the outcome you had hoped for. You tried to be a better listener, and your partner now feels free to be even more critical.

But you plow forward, distracting yourself or avoiding these problems by staying busy with friends, diving into your hobbies, or watching your favorite movie (again). Eventually, though, it all comes up again.

You don’t want to split up, but you don’t seem to be able to get along anymore.

Help is here.

You need someone who understands the dynamics of what’s going on and how to guide you both down a different road.

We will start with the two of you together, explaining what you see as the problems and how you want to change the relationship.

You want to learn to talk to each other about difficult subjects without yelling, blaming, or being called names. Or you have more affection, more help around the house, or hear more appreciation from your partner.

After that, we’ll have a time where I meet with each of you individually to hear your perspective and personal history. This allows you to share sensitive topics with me you might be reluctant to share with your partner in the room. It also provides a time to hear more about your background to see what pains and concerns you might be bringing to the relationship.

Charting a path forward…

We’ll take all the information you’ve shared and work on improving your relationship.

We’ll go over some basic concepts and practices that will go a long way in lessening the tension in your relationship. Maybe there is a problem with boundaries – you need to recognize what belongs in your backyard and what belongs in your partner’s.

Or perhaps you’ve become overly focused on what your partner is doing wrong and fail to see how you might be pouring gasoline on the fire they started.

Then, we work on the deeper issues and patterns that need to be changed. For example, if you argue about money, it’s probably got little to do with money itself but what the money symbolizes to each of you. Or your partner’s hurtful comments might be bumping up against something your mind remembers happening when you were a kid.

And we’ll consider what happened to the fun times you used to have. There was likely a time when your fondness for each other worked like a shock absorber so differences could be taken in stride. But now, every bump in the road feels like the front end of the car will fall completely off.

Ready, Set … Go!

You know to take your car to the mechanic when it starts making odd sounds or doesn’t run correctly.

So what holds you back from doing the same with your relationship?

You’re only making a phone call, not agreeing to major surgery. We’ll talk for about 15 minutes. I’ll ask you about what is going on, what you’ve tried, and what you want. I’ll tell you what I can provide. Then you can decide if you want to move forward or go in a different direction.

Don’t let fear keep you from getting the relationship you want. Call me today: (972) 295-9267.